Two Parents Or One? Essay, Research Paper
Two Parents Or One?
Family life is much different today than what it used to be. Several old ages
ago female parents would remain at place with their kids while the male parent went to work
to back up his household, but it is nil like that today in American families.
Today it is common for kids to be raised by merely one of their parents,
and those kids are frequently disadvantaged in several ways. The most consistent
happening from surveies of household construction shows that individual parents exert weaker
controls and do fewer demands on their kids than married households do
( Curtin et al. 368 ) . There is a existent easy account for this job, it is
the simple fact that two parents together make more regulations and are more likely to
stick by those regulations than individual parents are ( Curtin et al. 368 ) .
Single parents are non able to demo the same emotions as married twosomes
can, because the love between a female parent and a male parent plays an of import portion in a
household. Children learn how to love from their parents, but if both parents are
non at that place to learn them how to love, their love might be slightly nonreversible
( Curtin et al. 371 ) . Yes, individual parents can demo their love toward their
kids, but they have no partner to show love to. Children from individual
parent households are hence denied that larning experience of how a hubby
and a married woman should love one another ( Curtin et al. 369 ) .
Relationships are another thing that everyone demands, particularly kids.
Children need a existent strong relationship between themselves and their parents,
but kids from individual parent households are normally denied this privilege
because they are separated from one of their parents and frequently do non acquire to
pass equal clip with the other. Childs who have a strong relationship
with their parents are more likely to esteem the authorization of their parents (
Curtin et Al. 370 ) . The job with individual parent is the fact that normally the
individual parent does non hold the clip to assist the kid develop a stopping point
relationship with them. Another job is how can a child physique a strong
relationship with a parent they do non populate with and frequently do non see on a
regular footing. The simple fact is that kids need both of their parents in
the family to construct a close relationship with and to learn them to esteem
the parents authorization. True, non all kids from two parent families have
close relationships with their parents, but it is much more likely.
Gender besides plays an of import function in households. Work force and adult females have really
different features, both emotionally and physically. These different
features contribute to their functions as female parents and male parents ( Curtin et al.
369 ) . For case, work forces are usually much stronger physically than adult females, and
are hence able to make many things around the house that a adult female can non.
Womans are much more likely to make the mundane family jobs while the adult male
does the heavy responsibility work. Women normally tend more to the kids when they
demand things than do the work forces, and besides assist them more with emotional type
jobs ( Curtin et al. 369 ) . So it is easy to see why holding both parents in
the family makes a much more all-around household atmosphere.
When both parents are non in the family kids after experience a
great trade of emphasis from different facets of their lives. This emphasis frequently
comes from kids who are forced into independency and autonomy before
they are mature plenty to get by ( & # 8221 ; Children & # 8221 ; 58 ) . Many individual parents leave their
kids at place or direct them to low quality twenty-four hours cares centres while they are at
work, doing emphasis on the kids ( & # 8221 ; Children & # 8221 ; 60 ) . Yes, two parent households
frequently leave their kids at place or direct them to low quality twenty-four hours attentions, but
surveies show that it is 10 times more likely to go on in individual parent
households ( & # 8221 ; Children & # 8221 ; 59 ) .
Another clip which brings a great trade of emphasis to individual parent places is
the vacations. The vacations are a clip when households should be together. Single
parents may non be able to supply this for their chil
dren ( ”Holidays” 3 ) .
Another job that arises during the vacations is that of gift competition
between the parents ( & # 8221 ; Holidays & # 8221 ; 3 ) . The job with the parents viing over
who gets the best gift is the fact that the kids frequently feel as if the
parents want to but their love alternatively of gaining it by demoing them love.
Children of individual parent places besides face emphasis by ever worrying about
everything that is traveling on in their lives. Harmonizing to Richard Kinsey individual
parent kids worried more about school, household, hereafter, happening work, offense,
and their environment by a big border ( 16 ) . However, the biggest concern of
these kids was about their ain personal loves and what was traveling to go on
to them as they grew up ( Kinsey 16 ) .
Richard Kinsey besides did a study on offenses committed by kids in both
two parent places and individual parent places. He found that kids in two parent
places self-reported perpetrating offenses at a rate of 59 % , but kids from individual
parent places self-reported perpetrating offenses at a rate of 74 % ( 16 ) . This study
gives a strong accent of how of import the regard of authorization if for
kids. It besides showed how kids form individual parent places are more likely
to perpetrate offenses than the kids from two parent places.
Single parent places non merely reflect or do emphasis upon kids, but
besides upon the parent. Single female parents particularly feel stress when a male parent
figure is non present ( Allen et al. 390 ) . Harmonizing to the study done by
Katherine Allen and Peggy Quinn, 70 per centum of the individual female parents reported
that they ever worried about money ( 390 ) . Not merely was money a large issue, but
besides clip and energy ( 392 ) . These individual female parents are put under force per unit area from
about every facet of their lives, and without a hubby at that place to assist raise a
household, pay the measures, and to demo them love, the individual female parent must about experience
Another large emphasis for individual female parents is the fact that now they have the
duty of two parents ( Allen et al. 392 ) . One adult female describes how she
felt: & # 8220 ; And on the weekends so, cut down the pace, and clean the house, and wash the
apparels. When you get done making that, its Monday all over once more & # 8221 ; ( Allen et al.
392 ) . Most parents form two parent places realize the duty they have
and the emphasis that they face with a partner at that place to back up them, but merely
imagine that spouse non being at that place to assist support and aid with the
duties of the household and that is precisely what it is like to be a
Now we have seen the force per unit areas that individual female parents face, but what about
individual male parents because there are many of them in the universe today. One illustration
can be found in the article & # 8221 ; A Remarkable Experience, & # 8221 ; by Brad Andrews. Andrews
himself is a individual male parent and he discusses the overpowering duties of
being a individual male parent ( 8 ) . He now has to make all of the family jobs and
take attention of the kids all by himself. He can no longer play gimmick with his
boy after dinner because now he has to make the dishes ( 8 ) . These individual parent
state of affairss create unstability and do non supply a positive environment for
kids to turn up in. Both a male parent and a female parent are needed to make a
stable environment and a positive topographic point fro kids to populate.
Another illustration is the article & # 8220 ; Single Fathers With Custody & # 8221 ; by Alfred
DeMaris and Geoffrey Grief. DeMaris and Grief explain the fact that individual
male parents experience the same concerns and overpowering duties that
individual female parents do. Fathers face fiscal concerns, force per unit areas from work, and
force per unit area of clip for himself and his kids ( DeMaris et al. 260 ) .
The simple fact is that being a individual parent is a really hard undertaking,
whether it is a individual male parent or a individual female parent. A household consist of a male parent
and a female parent with their kids, non merely one parent. Single parent places
make a batch of emphasis and concerns on the parent every bit good as the kids, and
the emphasis and concerns are non needed by either. Afterall, it takes two to do
a kid, it should take two to raise a kid.