To continue our familys ethnic/cultural identity, our parents must teach us the core values of our Eastern Asian culture. The most fundamental of these values regard gender roles and datingwhich lead to a gender bias. Children of both sexes are more influenced by the mothers attitudes than fathers because mothers play the primary socializing agents in the Eastern Asian community. I am from a fairly strict Vietnamese family. I was born in a refugee camp in Thailand, but ten days after I was born, we came here to the U. S.
So I basically grew up here in the States. Growing up, there was my oldest brother (who is 13 years older than me), me, my younger sister, and my youngest brother. In my culture, a sibling that much older tends to have a lot of authority over the younger siblings. So here I am, the oldest daughter, growing up in a strict Vietnamese family with basically three parents. Needless to say, I had a very protected childhood. If I wasnt with my mom in the kitchen helping her cook, I was doing other chores around the house.
If I wasnt doing chores around the house, I was with my dad reading a book or going over my spelling words for my weekly spelling tests. Academics is an issue never to be taken lightly. If I was caught just laying around the house just watching TV or anything that isnt productive, I can always expect my mom to be close to tisk and say, What kind of a lazy daughter are you What would people say if they were to see the oldest daughter in this state Public image is very important to them.
My brother, on the other hand, was always out doing something. Be it road trips, camping trips, playing poolhe was just always out. If he was ever home at all, I can only recall him either sprawled out on the couch in from of the TV or on the phone with his friends or his girlfriend. When I was younger, it didnt take me long to see all of this as unfair treatment. For me, it was very difficult to have any freedom with my social life. I had a 9o clock curfew and could only go out with friends whose parents my parents had to know personally.
When a boy calls and my mom picks upI end up getting a third degree about him when I hang up. Who is he How do you know him Who are his parents Why I he calling Hence the situation, dating was quite a challenge for me in high school. My parents saw dating as a waste of time or something that took away from school or lead you to evil. Just recently I came home late from a concert one night and my mom got pretty upset at me for not calling. As a matter of fact, she was so upset that she had to call my aunt over to talk to me because she was to livid to do so herself.
Basically, they automatically thought that I was out with a boy. So to conclude–i would like to leave you with the wise words of my aunt. My aunt said to me, At this point in your life you really should not rush into a relationship. You have all the time in the world for that. Right now you should concentrate on your education so that when you marry you can be equal to your husband. Love should only be an accessory to your life; like a hair clip is to your hair and your make up is to your face.