Paper In this paper I will explain the 10 stages of Nape’s Theory and give examples of my own interpersonal relationship using the 10 stages.
For my examples I will be using my relationship with one of my very first best friends that have known for over 10 years now. I will begin by explaining how we met and a little bit of background information. This all happened when used to live in Chantilly, Virginia. We lived in a townhouse and was in a pretty calm area, it was always nice and quiet and relaxing outside.One day was outside skating with my roller blades. As just minding my own business and out of nowhere this boy who looked like he was quite a few years younger than me came to me with his scooter and asked me if I am fast with my roller blades. I said I’m not that fast but I could go pretty fast if tried. He then asked me to race him to see which one Of us is faster, him with his scooter or me with my roller blades.
So agreed to race him from one end of the road to the other end where the stop sign was.Naturally, I won the race by a long shot, probably because of the fact I was a few years older than him. He then came o me breathing heavily from trying to beat me in the race and said ‘You really are fast! ” That’s pretty much how we met, and this was around 10 years ago, so I was probably around the age of 9.
He then asked for my name and I told him mine and he told me his. His name was Andy El, he was 3 years younger than me and he was Vietnamese. The best part of it was he lived literally right in front of our house, so it was a good time back then because he was only a few steps away.Now, of course, don’t live that close to his house, but we still remain best friends. We both went to the same school, we had similar interests in video games, basketball, and we both had a big imagination.
At times, I would even consider him as a brother, because that’s just how close we really were and still are today. Now that have given some background information about my best friend and me, I will now go through Nape’s stages and give examples for each stage. Before I begin that let me give a brief explanation of what Nape’s Theory really is.Nape’s relationship model explains how relationships grow and last and also how they end. This model is categorized into ten different stages which come under TTY. O interrelating stages are Nape’s relationship escalation model and Nape’s relationship termination model.
This helps to understand how a relationship progresses and deteriorates. Diverse levels of speed and altered time between each step can be seen and experienced when a relationship grows. The steps can be even skipped out while the progression or deterioration of a relationship.The first stage is the Initiating Stage, which is the stage during which individuals meet and interact for the first time. The initial interaction might consist of a brief exchange of words, either online or in person.
For my case, it was in person where we first interacted with each other. As explained before, we first met in a small neighborhood with a bunch of townhouses in Chantilly, Virginia. He began the interaction by walking up to me and asking me to race him to see who is faster. I of course, won the race because of our age gap.He and I then were a little closer than just strangers after that incident. The next stage in our relationship was the experimenting stage, which is the stage of coming together that requires risk taking because little is known as et about the other person.
Didn’t know a lot about this guy, but we escalated through this stage quite rapidly. We immediately knew each others names after telling each other it once. We then started talking about our interests and hobbies. We both liked playing basketball and we both liked playing outside.There was this game and TV show called “Yogi” which was basically a card game. We both loved playing that game outside, inside, anywhere really. We knew a few other people in the neighborhood who also played it, and we would sometimes play in pairs against one another. After this stage I started to know what kind of person Andy was.
The next stage we went through was the Intensifying Stage, which marks an increase in the participants’ commitment and involvement in the relationship.This stage became pretty obvious to me when remembered how he would every morning come to my door and ring the bell to ask whoever that came to the door if was home and could come outside to play. Of course, I would go outside whenever I had nothing going on inside and go outside to play with him for hours and hours. That’s how we spent most of our time together ND that’s pretty much how it was every day.
Another example would be that we would always sit next to each other in the bus going to school.We didn’t go through the Integrating or Bonding stages, because this was a friend relationship and not a couple relationship. The Integrating stage is when the relationship has a sense of togetherness.
Others expect to see the individuals together, and when they do not, they often ask about the other person. This didn’t really occur and I see this more as a stage for couples. As for the Bonding stage, it’s the stage where the relationship’s development and Roth is bonding, the public announcement of the commitment-as when a couple announces that they are engaged or getting married.Again another stage that is mainly for couples, which we quite obviously were not. The next stage is the Differentiating Stage, which is the first stage of coming apart, the differences between the individuals are highlighted and become forces that slow or limit the growth of a relationship. In this stage me and Andy didn’t get along too well when I would start winning a lot in video games and card games that we played against each other. Andy was very nominative and whenever he would lose against me in anything, he would be very upset.
He would sometimes even try to avoid talking to me. Me on the other hand, didn’t really care much about winning or losing I just played to have fun, and Of course I didn’t really get too upset when he would complain, would simply just try to change the subject and find a way for us to get along once again. We didn’t really have a lot of serious fights, nor did we ever go through any of the other stages other than the Differentiating stage, which only lasted for a few minutes.
The Circumscribing stage is when information exchange is educed, and some areas of difference are completely avoided because conversation would only lead to a deepening of the conflict. The Stagnating stage is when the relationship reaches a standstill. The Avoiding stage is when you try to distance yourself away from the person. The Terminating stage is when you are finally over with the relationship and have nothing else to do with the person. We didn’t really go through any of these stages, we were pretty good friends back then and even now. Andy still lives in the same place in Chantilly as of today, and I live here in Homemaker.
We occasionally would talk on the phone and sometimes I would stop by to visit him when my family would go to visit my cousins, who also live in that area. We still remain best friends, and I still consider him as my younger brother. These stages haven’t really impacted me in the relationship, because it was going well before I knew about these Stages, nor has the skills and strategies in class helped me a whole lot either. In the future, however, I do believe these skills will help me when I do decide to get into a real relationship with a girl that I may want to consider making a family with.